In which John reminds us that good insulting is a long-dead art form.
"I think that you're a herd of boils and plagues.
You monstrous malefactor.
Bad-headed puke stocking.
You stuffed cloak bag of guts.
You're just a huge bombard of sack.
You barren spoiled man; You carcass fit for hounds.
Dude, carcass fit for hounds? That's a burn.
Yeah, I know, right? Carcass fit for hounds? Not bad.
You valiant flea; You foul and ugly witch.
Oh shut up, you presumptuous vassal.
You fat and greasy citizen; you saucy lackey; you fancy mongerer.
Yeah? Well you're a mildewed ear.
You;re a timorous wrench.
Maybe so, but you're a foul misshapen stigmatic with an odoriferous stench.
You foul undigested lump!
Wait-lump of what?
Shakespeare didn't specify; maybe like...big league chew?
That disgusting; I'm just like a pound of big league chew sitting in somebody's stomach?
Now that's how you insult people. With Shakespeare. Nerdfighters FTW."
- John Green/Shakespeare.
I wish I could whip those out in a time of great need. Here's the viedo: