"Poker Face" Lady Gaga

Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah

I wanna hold em' like they do in Texas Plays
Fold em' let em' hit me raise it baby stay with me (I love it)
Luck and intuition play the cards with Spades to start
And after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she's got me like nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she's got me like nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be
A little gambling is fun when you're with me I love it)
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when it's love if its not rough it isn't fun, fun
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she's got me like nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she's got me like nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

I won't tell you that I love you
Kiss or hug you
Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin
I'm not lying I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunning
Just like a chick in the casino
Take your bank before I pay you out
I promise this, promise this
Check this hand cause I'm marvelous

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she's got me like nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she's got me like nobody)

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she's got me like nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she's got me like nobody)

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she's got me like nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(she's got me like nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

Wow, It's Been A While...

Notes from OfficeMax so I can trash this little book

EVE:
She's our first customer,
our primary focus,
and our most powerful ally.

EVE LIKES HER JOB.
She's never satisfied with "good enough".
She works hard at the office, She works hard at home.
She wants to be creative. She wants to be successful.
And she wants to be rewarded with a nice paycheck at the end of the day.

EVE CARES.
She cares about what she buys, how it looks, how it works, and what it means to the people who will use it.
Her colleagues are key contributors to the success of the business, and it's her priority to provide them with whatever she can to help them do their best work. If that means investing in higher quality chairs or adding a pack of purple pens to the standard order of supplies....
she'll do it for them, she'll do it for the business.

80% OF ALL PURCHASING DECISIONS ARE MADE BY WOMEN, BOTH CONSUMER AND BUSINESS.

EVE
female, late 20's-early 50's
admin, office manager, business owner, key influencer, main buyer of office supplies, shops everywhere.

EVE IS MORE THAN A DEMOGRAPHIC.
She's the culmination of extensive research, rigorous debate and close collaboration across the OfficeMax organization.

EVE IS A LIVING, BREATHING OPPORTUNITY.
She's the moan whose like is about integration, not balance. And that's okay. She's good at it: friend, volunteer, mom, boss, chauffeur, colleague. She's all those things all the time.

SHE'S NOT JUST ONE WOMAN.
And she's not every woman. She's a superset of characteristics shared by many customers.

WHEN WOMEN ARE REFERRED TO A STORE 82% MAKE A PURCHASE.

WE MUST WAKE UP AND SMELL THE TRUTH: WOMEN ARE THE PRIMARY PURCHASERS OF DAMN NEAR EVERYTHING.

THE LARGEST, RICHEST, MOST LUCRATIVE MARKET ON THE HORIZON...WOMEN.
WOMEN OPEN 89% of new bank accounts
WOMEN BUY 92% of vacations
WOMEN MAKE 80% of health decision
WOMEN BUY 60% of cars (and significantly influence 90%)
WOMEN MAKE 91% of home purchase decisions
WOMEN BUY 55% of consumer electronics
WOMEN BUY 66% of computers

48% OF ALL PRIVATELY-HELD U.S. FIRMS ARE OWNED BY WOMEN

7 out of 10 NEW BUSINESSES ARE STARTED BY WOMEN.
that's 10,600,000 businesses.

WOMEN ARE 53% PURCHASING MANAGERS
73% CONTRACT CUSTOMERS
75% OFFICE MANAGERS
95% ADMINISTRATORS
which means they control almost all office purchases.

EVE FORCES US TO SET THE BAR HIGHER.
Because she has higher expectations Eve is our most demanding customer.
If we can satisfy her needs, we will more than fulfill the demands of other customers.

PLENTY OF COMPANIES HAVE MADE MARKETING AND SERVICE IMPROVEMENT IN ORDER TO INCREASE BRAND APPEAL TO WOMEN...
AND AS A BONUS, THEY'VE DISCOVERED THAT THEIR MALE CUSTOMERS ARE HAPPIER, TOO.

Eve wants more.
She wants an environment that is inspiring, engaging, evocative.
She wants an EXPERIENCE.
and...
what she wants is what she needs.

EVE WANTS
1. Inspiration

"If money were no object, I'd take a truck straight to the Container Store. I'm crazy about that place. I can spend hours browsing, checking out the latest stuff. I always get new ideas and discover new ways to organize my life. And the sales staff are blackbelts - knowledgeable, friendly, inventive. The only problem is I spend way too much money there. I consider myself lucky if I escape for under $100."

--59% WOMEN 39% MEN...want an office store that is more fun and interesting to shop.
--64% WOMEN 44% MEN...want an office store that surprises and delights with new and innovative products.
--62% WOMEN 37% MEN...want office products that make them smile.

"At Pearl Art & Craft Supply, you go there and it's like being in heaven. Like Wow! There are all these cool things that I never knew existed. I can explore. You wander through the aisles and see all these possibilities."

Eve Etiquette
-communicate with me through stories
-don't sell me on feature and specs
-engage me visually
-bring my unique and interesting products
-don't lose sight of everyday value
-don't dumb things down
-make my life easier
-wow me with great service
-don't assume you know what's best for me
-get my feedback
-don't make everything pink!
-make it easy to do business with you
-demonstrate expertise
-nail the basics
-don't waste my time

2. Style & Design

"I want my office to spark collaboration and creating. When I look for furniture, supplies, and accessories, I'm drawn to color and funky patterns. It's got to be comfortable. And uplifting! I want people to walk in and think, "Wow, they must do amazing stuff here." Professional and successful. From first impression to last."

--71% WOMEN 54% MEN...want office products that are well designed and contemporary.
--51% WOMEN 23% MEN...want office products that are more colorful.
--56% WOMEN 29% MEN...want office products that express their personality and sense of style.

"Because I'm in front of clients...I better have a snappy looking clipboard, I better have great looking binders. So I don't want the generic things that I can get at an office supplies store."

3. Organization & Efficiency

"Sometimes I wish I could do it all. Be more organized, more efficient, more on top of things. But it's unrealistic to be superwoman. So I outsource where I can. Peapod for groceries, a cleaning service every other week, baby sitters for the kids, and I bring in IT support or design services at work when needed. But my ultimate fantasy is to have a personal assistant. Someone to organize my life and free my time up for more important things, like family."

--73% WOMEN 54% MEN...want products that help them get work done easier and faster
--78% WOMEN 57% MEN...want products that help them get more organized
--73% WOMEN 52% MEN...want products that help them use their space more efficiently

"Organization is key. And now that I'm finally getting my life organized, I'm able to concentrate on spending more time with my family."

Eve's To-Do's
-do well at my job
-set deadlines
-get work done ahead of them
-check in with the team
-workout during lunch
-work from home on Friday
-spend more time with the family
-pay the bills
-be more organized
-file the bills
-finish the month's issue of Real Simple
-meet with the financial adviser
-order groceries online
-cook dinner
-get ready for tomorrow

4. Value

"Price is important. All that stuff adds up. But it can't just be the cheapest stuff. You get what you pay for. So while I love a bargain. I mostly want a good return for my dollar. And when it comes to things that will make me and my coworkers happier, or more productive, or more professional, I'll pay a bit more."

--71% WOMEN want an office supply store that suggests ways to save me time and money
however...
--Women drive 85% of all trade up purchases.

"At Target, the merchandising is right. They've got some cutting edge designer. The price points are fair. Yes, they might be more expensive than Wal-Mart, but I'll pay more for more detail or something more special."

Eves Shopping List
-toner for the color printer
-planner to manage work & kids
-unique laptop bag (not basic black)
-color file folders
-letter pressed thank you cards
-picture frames for lobby
-recycled copy paper
-book shelf
-better inbox for reception area
-healthy snack food
-foot rest
-a really nice pen
-shredder
-area rug

5. Expertise & Trust

"When it comes to choosing who I'm goign to do business with, I don't have time to research, so I tend to go with companies who are experts in their field. lphaGraphics for copying and printing. Dell for computers and tech stuff. The Container Store for cool organizational supplies. Also, the personal relationships I have with my partners are incredibly important. When I call up Bill and tell him I need something by 2:30, I know it will get done. You can't put a price tag on that kind of trust."

--54% WOMEN 36% MEN...want an office supply store that offer design resources to help create a better work environment.
--58% WOMEN 41% MEN...want an office supply store that offers services to help organize their space and paperwork.
--47% WOMEN 34% MEN...want an office supply store that offers training in the use of office equipment.

"My computer is a Dell. If I need anything related to it, I go straight to them. I can call and say this is what I need. They know what I have, what will work with it, and they deliver it directly to me."

satisfy eve's needs and we will exceed everyone's expectations.

"IF YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO BE THE EXPERTS IN OFFICE SUPPLIES, ACT LIKE YOU'RE THE EXPERTS.
TAKE US THERE. NOBODY ELSE IS DOING THAT IN A BIG SUPER STORE.
GIVE ME GUIDANCE, SHOW ME POSSIBILITIES, JUST GIVE ME THE ANSWERS.
IF YOU OFFER SOMETHING DIFFERENT, I'LL BE THERE."

FOCUSING ON EVE Gives us a crystal clear position in the marketplace.
With Eve's guidance, we will provide and experience that's meaningful to our customers and differentiated fro our competitors.

FOCUSING ON EVE Is a direct path to sustainable growth.

With Eve's guidance and your passion we will create value in a new way.
She wants what we want...
A BETTER OFFICEMAX

At Last!

Twilighters, next week belongs to us. The beautiful Kristen Stewart and slightly hairy yet dashing Robert Pattinson grace the cover of Entertainment Weekly on the 18th, proving to us that we are not alone in our small group of friends that gasp every time we think of the scene in Eclipse--you know which one...

So my sister and I went on a quest to find this magazine, not knowing that it doesn't come out until this Friday.. Silly us. On our quest, I almost made her spew coffe out her nose, I bought $60 of books (The Sugar Queen, Aurelia, Devilish, Girl at Sea, The Princess and the Hound, The Captain of all Pleasures, Lover Awakened), was accosted by the teller at the bank (selling you three boxes of colored pencils does not make me your friend), and bought Penelope which included the book for a little extra exclusively at Target, but I don't think you can get it online like that.

When we got home, we were going to watch Penelope, but I had a Twilight moment of such extreme proportions (gasped too quickly and choked on my own spit for about ten minutes) that I had to have a nap. After my nap, I heard my mother banging around in the kitchen (as all women do, since none of us know how to avoid the banging) and went to help with the dinner I had actually planned. Mom put the pork chops in the pressure cooker and I put the garlic bread in the oven to bake while I put together the green bean casserole. Mom went off to her room to play Sudoku while I watched the food. I was not told that once the pot starts hissing like an angry snake that I am supposed to turn down the heat and leave it to do it's own thing for 30 minutes....So I left it on the burner to cook for 30 minutes. I cooked the casserole and the bread and tell mom her pork chops have ten minutes, but I noticed it smelled like it was burning. I told mom and she said it was normal and asked me a few questions about what I did to the pork chops, her expression getting more and more alarmed. Once she came to the conclusion that I had burned the dinner, she rushed down the hall and took the pot off the stove and put it in the sink to run water over it.
The pork chops, in fact, were not completely ruined. Mom used her cool electric knife to slice off the 1/3 of the meat that was burnt and with a little barbecue sauce, it was edible. Personally, I just ate a lot of bread and green beans and threw some meat at the dog who was very pleased to find out that our kitchen floor now attracts yummies.

Drop Insults

So I'm going through Brotherhood 2.0 desperately trying to find where I left off so that hopefully I can be privy to all of the jokes I seem to be left out on.....when I came across this piece of pure genius.

In which John reminds us that good insulting is a long-dead art form.

"I think that you're a herd of boils and plagues.
You monstrous malefactor.
Bad-headed puke stocking.
You stuffed cloak bag of guts.
You're just a huge bombard of sack.
You barren spoiled man; You carcass fit for hounds.
Dude, carcass fit for hounds? That's a burn.
Yeah, I know, right? Carcass fit for hounds? Not bad.
You valiant flea; You foul and ugly witch.
Oh shut up, you presumptuous vassal.
You fat and greasy citizen; you saucy lackey; you fancy mongerer.
Yeah? Well you're a mildewed ear.
You;re a timorous wrench.
Maybe so, but you're a foul misshapen stigmatic with an odoriferous stench.
You foul undigested lump!
Wait-lump of what?
Shakespeare didn't specify; maybe like...big league chew?
That disgusting; I'm just like a pound of big league chew sitting in somebody's stomach?
Now that's how you insult people. With Shakespeare. Nerdfighters FTW."
- John Green/Shakespeare.

I wish I could whip those out in a time of great need. Here's the viedo:

Too Cheap?

I was reading An Abundance of Katherines by John Green, and took a moment to smile, refflect on what I had read, and look at how many more pages I still had to get through to finish the book---don't get me wrong, it's very funny, but it's just not my kind of book, I suppose. While looking at the remaining pages, I noticed a gap and went to flip to that page to see what I had stuffed two-thirds of the way through and out fell a boarding pass (ATL to ABQ) and two movie tickets. The boarding pass was from my most recent trip to see my boyfriend, Evan and the movies tickets were from the 2:45 May 2007 showing of 28 Weeks Later at the Cottonwood Theater. Normally I just look at these and think of how many times I jumped during the movie while sitting next to the love of my life, but this time I really looked at what the tickets say:

Cottonwood (1307)
Presenting
28 WEEKS
2:45PM Fri 05/11/07
Matinee $6.75
9
06002100030009
05/11/07 02:32 PM
customer copy


"28 WEEKS" it says. Just "28 WEEKS". Why, at a theater charging $4 for a pack of twizlers, does my ticket say "28 WEEKS" instead of "28 WEEKS LATER"? There is enough room. There should be enough pay. how long does it take the average person to type "LATER"? Less than a second. If you're not sure where they hide the "L" it may take a little longer, but is that really a reason to leave that out? No.

Give me back my three dollars from my Twizlers and my five letters.

Summer Day

It was hot today. I got up around 9:45 to shower and get read to hang out with Dan. I watched tv waiting for him to call and then went to sleep for an hour and he called around noon and then we went to eat.

I wanted to pre-order Warhammer online, but Best Buy said they didn't have the boxes, so no pre-order.

I bought the Host, City of Bones and City of Ashes at Walden Books today, and I'll check and see if I can get them cheaper at Barnes and Noble.

Had a terrible headache and asked Dan to take me home. Evan called just as Dan was pulling into the neighborhood, so I called Evan back once I got inside. After chatting with the love of my life, I took a nap and when I woke up we went out to eat with grandma and Aunt Linda and Uncle John.

After dinner, I took a math test and got an 84%. I'll retake it tomorrow and hopefully do an awesome job on it.

I'm madly in love with Evan.

Early Mornin' Searchin'

"I am not a Starfleet commander, or T.J. Hooker. I don't live on Starship NCC-170...[some audience members say 'one'], or own a phaser. And I don't know anybody named Bones, Sulu, or Spock. And no, I've never had green alien sex, though I'm sure it would be quite an evening. [Pomp and Circumstance begins playing] I speak English and French, not Klingon! I drink Labatt's, not Romulan ale! And when someone says to me 'Live long and prosper', I seriously mean it when I say, 'Get a life'. My doctor's name is not McCoy, it's Ginsberg. And tribbles were puppets, not real animals. PUPPETS! And when I speak, I never, ever talk like every. Word. Is. Its. Own. Sentence. I live in California, but I was raised in Montreal. And yes, I've gone where no man has gone before, but I was in Mexico and her father gave me permission! My name is William Shatner, and I am Canadian!"
William Shatner